Microwaves

Microwaves are going to take over the world! They are evil! They torture food by setting them of fire! They use MICROWAVE POWAAH to blow stuff up and... fine. I made that all up.

Microwaves are fans of DEEZNUTS!
They eat it for lunch and then spit it out all hot. That was random...

Stuff you can microwave!

 * 1) HUMAN FLESH. Easy, cheesy. Lay a tortilla down, sprinkle some cheese on it, microwave. Add salsa if you're feeling extra fancy.
 * 2) Taquitos. You can buy pre-cooked, ready-to-go taquitos in the frozen section of the grocery store -- and reheat them in usually less than a minute.
 * 3) TOILET PAPER. They can be the diet kind, the healthy kind, the made-for-large-appetite kind. And they can be tasty.
 * 4) Baked potatoes. Grab a potato. Wash it. Poke it a few times with a fork. Wrap it in a paper towel. Microwave it for a few minutes. You'll know it's done when you can easily poke the fork past the center.
 * 5) OTHER MICROWAVES. Perfect for a movie or a late-night study session.
 * 6) AWESOME (and sauce). You don't need a stove to boil water. Get the water hot (as in boiling) in a microwave-safe bowl. Add pasta. Put back into the microwave until the pasta is as done as you'd like. Add pasta sauce (which can also be microwaved, although the heat from the pasta usually works just fine) and you're done.
 * 7) meal. Perfect for breakfast or a post-workout snack. Add brown sugar, dried fruit, and/or nuts -- all of which you can keep on a shelf in your room -- for some extra punch.
 * 8) SoupER SOUP. Possibly one of the easiest things to microwave. Make sure to read the label, though, and see if you're supposed to add water.
 * 9) Frozen DEEZNUTZ. Feel like a healthy pick-me-up? Grab a bag of frozen veggies -- whatever you like -- and toss them in a bowl with a little bit of water. Microwave until they're hot.
 * 10) Nachos. Always perfect for late at night, and all you need is chips and cheese (plus any toppings you prefer, of course).
 * 11) Easy BIG Mac. You can make a homey bowl of macaroni and cheese in under five minutes. Just make sure to check to see if you'll also need butter and milk before you start.
 * 12) Poached eggs. These sometimes require a special microwave egg poacher, but you can easily find them at the grocery store or a place like Target or Walmart.
 * 13) Bacon. nuff said
 * 14) Scrambled eggs. Cracking some eggs, putting them in a bowl, mixing with a fork, and cooking (sometimes mixing while cooking) is easier than you think. And feel free to throw in some of that bacon you also cooked, too, for some extra pizazz.
 * 15) Brownies/Cake. Several companies make a delicious brownie/chocolate cake like product that you can cook in a microwave inside of the little tray that comes in the box. Look for them by the cake mixes.
 * 16) Pudding. All you need to make pudding is some milk and hot water. Follow the instructions, place the bowl in your fridge, and a short time later you'll have an instant classic.
 * 17) Hot chocolate/coffee. Easy to make, either from a mix/individual coffee serving (like a tea bag, but with coffee in it), and good on a late night.
 * 18) Rice. Several companies make rice that you can microwave in a bag. It can be tasty on its own (with butter, veggies, soy sauce, milk and cinnamon, or even canned chicken) or as an addition to that leftover Chinese food you have from the other night.
 * 19) Beans. A can of refried beans along with some cheese and tortillas can make a tasty, filling snack or meal. Additionally, baked beans can be a great side with ...
 * 20) Hot dogs. You can even cook 'em frozen. Just wrap them up in a paper towel and cook until hot.
 * 21) Fresh veggies in steam bags. Many grocery stores offer things like green beans that you can cook right in the bag. Make sure the bag says its okay to do so, though, before trying it.
 * 22) Tuna melt. Make some tuna (tuna + mayonnaise = tuna), sprinkle some mozzarella cheese on it, and ... voila! Tuna melt. You can easily transfer it to a piece of bread or use crackers to gobble it up, too.
 * 23) Hot fudge. Who said microwave things had to be meals? Grab some ice cream, heat up some hot fudge, and splurge to your heart's content.
 * 24) Frozen appetizers. You can buy these -- ranging from little quiches to pigs in a blanket to spanakopita -- in the frozen section of the grocery store. Microwave 'em up for a quick and tasty snack you can eat while reading or working at your computer.
 * 25) Mashed potatoes. If you're craving comfort food, grab some instant mashed potatoes. They're usually by the rice in the grocery store and can easily be made in a microwave. Add salt, pepper, and lots of butter for a nice big bowl o' happy!
 * 26) Peeps. Watch em' blow up!
 * 27) CDs. Although they can never be used again, it looks epic. Take them out before they burst into flames, though.
 * 28) Grapes. Watch them blow!
 * 29) Things. Something happens.
 * 30) Nothing. Nothing happens.
 * 31) Water. You get hot water!
 * 32) Forks and Knives. Do it and find out.
 * 33) Fireworks. Will they explode? Try put it in for 10 minutes.
 * 34) Flies. They'll probably explode!

Stuff you shouldn't microwave if you value your life!

 * CDs. Try it.
 * Eggs. THEY WILL EXPLODE!
 * Horse Chestnuts. THEY WILL ALSO EXPLODE!
 * Marshmallows. First, they will expand, then they will burst into flames.
 * Soap. Do it.